Episode 18 New Q and A
Questions from Safeline counsellors: including what helped and what didn’t help me in therapy
Episode 18 New Q and A with Safeline counsellors.
This is the first part of two recordings of a new training session for counsellors at Safeline, which are hosted by Meena Kumari of Hope Training.
I began by sharing My Story, spoken. This is a shortened version of My Story, which you can read on this site.
The participants then ask me questions, which I do my best to answer.
The questions are read from the Chat by Liz, from Safeline.
The first and second questions are about what worked and what didn’t work for me in therapy. I talk about the person who didn’t believe me. The most important thing is to “be with”, your client. I give some suggestions to help counsellors show this. The importance of listening and being heard and accepted. Being given enough time, yet also being able to help the client move on if they are stuck. Sometimes the client will not be able to speak, this trauma response is described in my blog, “I have no words“. This can be got round by using drawing or writing. It’s OK for the therapist to ask what works and what doesn’t. Guided meditations can be helpful.
The third question is about how I would feel if a counsellor cried in reaction to what I was saying during a session. I talk about how telling my story to an audience and seeing their reactions have helped me to get in touch with some of the feelings that I had dissociated from.
Liz asks about a client being worried about upsetting a counsellor or therapist. Sometimes a therapist showing emotion can open up conversations about how the client is feeling. It is important to have an open conversation about what has made the counsellor angry, that it is the abuser, not the client. It can be helpful for the client to be aware that the therapist has had training and has supervision, which will help keep their own mental health sound.
The last question is about what prompted me to reach out for help. I talk about waving red flags when I was a child. I drank a lot in later secondary school. I had a counsellor at University, referred by my tutor, who was concerned about me. It was often people around me who suggested to me that I needed help. The more therapy I had, the more I began to know myself and to recognise when I needed help myself.
You can listen to the second half of this session here, Episode 19 More Q and A
Some links which might interest you:
You can listen to a podcast with Liz, “Getting Help”
You can listen to Neil’s podcast, “Safeline specialist services”
You can find out more about Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
There are several charities and other organisations where you can find help. “Websites to help” is one of several pages under “Resources”
Bessell Van der Kolk’s book, “The body keeps the score”
The journey to recovery from child sexual abuse or any other form of abuse or trauma, is long and painful. However you choose to find support and help on that journey, it is worth it. There is hope for recovery.
Thank you for listening.