#ITSNOTOK and #ItStillMatters. It's not Ok that people are sexually abused, as a child, as an adult, by another child, by an adult. Whenever you were abused, it still matters. You matter. Help is out there. In collaboration with Safeline and with the Ministry of Justice (MoJ) I did an interview with a journalist from The Sun
Recovery discoveries As we start another weird year, I've been taking stock of some of the discoveries that I've made on my long journey of healing and recovery. Here are some of them, including taming flashbacks; finding PTG; mind, brain and body links; EMDR; learning how to accept my mum's failings and still hold her good mum
Re-assembling myselves I was so traumatised during the abuse that happened to me during my childhood that I had to separate out different parts of myself. It was just too much to grasp, too much to experience at the time and so I would retreat into, sometimes out of, myself. These selves, parts, littles, inner
Why report? The conviction rate for rape is dismally low (Guardian article September 2019). The conviction rate for historical child sexual abuse (BBC News article 2016) is even lower. So why did I report to the police three times? Not really with any hope of convictions, I have to say. Although it would have
The weight of waiting My father started abusing me when I was a very small child. Touching me, making me touch him. Putting his fingers in me. Putting his willy in my mouth. Raping me. I don’t really remember a time when I was safe. I do remember waiting. Waiting for the next time. Waiting
Re-setting the smoke detector The human brain’s primary function is to keep us alive. It does a very good job too; largely undetected, it makes sure that we keep breathing, that our temperature remains normal, that our hormones are well-regulated etc. It also uses our senses to constantly scan the environment to check for danger. This
I have no words There have been many times when I have experienced that awful feeling of simply not being able to speak. It’s not that I don’t want to verbalise my thoughts, sensations or feelings, I simply do not have any words. Sometimes I’ve been sitting in a therapy room, sometimes I’ve been on
Being ill - March 2020 I’ve been ill for the past two and a bit weeks. I have what the pharmacist called, “A viral”. I think that’s a technical term for a head cold. Anyway, I’ve had a lot of the unpleasant symptoms of a cold, notably exhaustion, coughing that wakes me up in the
Why me? - March 2020 Survivors of sexual abuse try to make sense of why abuse has happened to them. It is very common for a survivor to conclude that they are responsible for the abuse. I too decided early in my childhood that I must have been bad, that there was something wrong with
Podcast summary Episode 17 Therapy Q and A Part Three A survivor of csa answers questions from Safeline counsellors: the effect of telling your story on your audience; therapy online; using dance, music, Feldenkrais I
Podcast summary Episode 13 The Flying Child Survivors of child sexual abuse talk about breaking the silence and recovering from the shame and stigma of csa through therapy and speaking out. Janet met Sophie through
Podcast summary Episode 12 Learning to love myself Janet met Jess through the charity, Angles, when Jess wanted to meet people with lived experience of sexual abuse for a podcast she was producing. The podcast
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